Let's start with your freak out, sweetpea...
Yes, dude, I was talking about you. No, I didn't pull that name out of my ass. If you knew anything about me (besides I'm better than you), you'd know I'm known for giving out nicknames to BBA. It's my thing, dork.
Your name is Helen. No, I won't explain why. Much like how reviews are for readers, my nicknames are for Whisperers.
Oh, hun (look at me channeling Enema!!!!), I get your frustration. Let me explain where you went wrong...
1) You're a newbie. The players in the BBA battles are this big unknown for you. It's why you misspelled Carol's name. You read a few posts on STGRB and thought you had the gist. However, you don't know about Julia, Kimber, Rick, Oops, or Hawkaloogie. It's all a big huh for you. If you want to challenge Melissa for the title of Leader of the Butthurt, you'll at least want to know who Melissa is. Just saying, buddy.
2) You underestimated the Whisperers. Miranda and I have been doing this stuff for nearly a year. We know the way the mind of an asshat works. You really didn't have a chance. After defeating Melissa, you're not much of a challenge.
3) Everyone has tells. You thought you hid your identity, but you actually gave yourself away in your posts. After reading through them and doing a little research, we were able to identify you, Helen.
Good news though. We have no intention of outing your author name. Why? You're too small fry. A gnat. A nobody in a sea of butthurt. Try not to take it personally.